Why is Dennis Rodman the only American that’s gone to visit Kim Jong-un in North Korea? Don’t we have an ambassador or secretary of something that should’ve made this trip by now? This is one of many topics brought up on today’s show. Another is whether or not April O’Neil was black in the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles comics. Another is Jabari’s disdain for the Nintendo Wii. Although he claims he doesn’t ‘hate’ it, Dennis senses something in his voice that says he does. Do you hear it?

Remember the story from the episode titled “Unkempt Travolta” in which we examined the cost of the 5-year mission of James Kirk’s Enterprise? Well, we’ve got another story very much in the vein of that. The numbers have been crunched and the question of whether being a red shirt aboard the 1701 was more dangerous than other colors has been answered. And that answer is yes… and no. It depends on which department you work in as a red shirt. We’ll beam up the numbers and we determine our roles on the star ship as well. What tunic would each of the Who Asked You? Crew be wearing? If you disagree with our choices, feel free to send us an E-Mail or voice message and tell us what yours are!

The guys from the Broken Lizard Comedy Troupe are at it again… well, they’re trying to be anyway. They’ve finished a script for the long awaited SUPER TROOPERS 2 and are waiting on Fox to give the go-ahead. Dennis expresses a little apprehension at first, but quickly warms up to going and seeing it.

One thing none of us can warm up to is taking a cruise on the Titanic II. If you haven’t heard about this, allow me to explain… a billionaire from Australia is personally funding the construction of another Titanic. His goal is to retrace the ship’s course and complete the journey it never got the chance to. He’s even providing passengers with 1912 clothing and plans to, according to one report, divvy up the ship by class. That’s right, second and third-class passengers will NOT be aloud in first-class areas. This is getting a little too accurate for my taste. The Titanic II will be identical to the original including the furniture and dishes. However, it’ll be three-inches longer and will have enough lifeboats for everyone. Funny thing is, the original had enough lifeboats for everyone, but those fuckin’ first-classers didn’t wanna share. I’ll push a millionaire CEO overboard! I’m gettin’ off alive one way or another if that bastard sinks.

If you’re a regular visitor to the Bureau of Acquisitions, you may be in for an unpleasant surprise the next time you acquire something. Several of the nation’s biggest Internet providers are engaging in a new monitoring system meant to deter people from illegally downloading copyrighted materials. The system, which is automated (that has worked out well in the past), will notify your ISP if it detects you doing something naughty. Your ISP will then send you a notice. You get three or four of these notices before you’ll be required to read about copyright law and/or they choke your connection speed. By the fifth or sixth strike you may even find yourself in court. So if you’re on Verizon, Time Warner Cable, AT&T or Comcast, this is OUR warning to you: Be careful of your activities at the Bureau!

And we finish up our show beers with some Breaking News on that very subject. One story comes from Scotland where the whiskey runs free through the water mains. Don’t expect to get tipsy from your tap. A horrendous mistake by a night shift crew at a distillery saw the draining of 4,700 gallons of Chivas Brothers whiskey. The bosses are mad and water treatment officials are worried. That much booze wreaks havoc on the equipment and treatment process.

And while we’re talking about booze and water, Budweiser’s parent company, Anheuser-Busch is being sued by their drinkers claiming the beer is watered down. Yes… yes it is… it’s Budweiser! That’s the way it tastes for Christ sake! Just buy a better beer! It’s not that hard. The plaintiffs in the case believe the ABV on the label is not accurate and they want $5-million and an apology from the brewer. The ale will now be tested and we’ll see if the King of Beers gets dethroned.

SHOW LINKS:

Significance Magazine: Keep your redshirt on: a Bayesian exploration

GuySpeed.com

Buy “Super Troopers” on DVD

Buy “Titanic II” on DVD

Read about the Copyright Alert System

Chivas Brothers – Flushers of fine whiskey.

April O’Neil as she appeared in the TMNT comics.
IMAGE CREDIT: Mirage Studios

Heard In This Week’s Open:

The Dark Knight

Duke Nukem Forever

Animaniacs (Volume 1)

The 40-Year-Old Virgin

Dumb and Dumber

New DVD Releases for Tuesday, March 5th:

Wreck-It Ralph

Duck Dynasty (Season 2)

Schindler’s List 20th Anniversary Limited Edition (Blu-ray/DVD/Digital Copy + UltraViolet)

Red Dawn

Lego Ninjago: Masters of Spinjitzu (Season 2)

Nightmare on Elm Street Collection [Blu-ray]

Power Rangers: Clash of the Red Rangers Movie

A Dark Truth

Adventure Collection 4 Movie Pack

Girls Gone Wild: Hot Summer Breast Fest