We've certainly had one of these before... I'm, of course, talking about a shit-centric show. And, of course, there will be discussion of actual shit. However, we do have some news on the other kinds of shit. Those include steamy logs dumped off at your local cineplex. And turds you see on TV. Charlie is out this week and filling in for him is our semi-official go to backup host, John Flemming.
Lets start with the tube turds. We waited to talk about this until today because last week was our annual movie preview show and also Dennis was absent. On New Year's Eve we didn't tune into the typical Time Square extravaganza broadcast, but rather a cable access-worthy brown nugget called, FIRST NIGHT 2013. It was hosted by Jamie Kennedy. It was a complete train wreck. Entertaining for all the WRONG reasons. Sloppy camera work, awkward comments made while mics were still hot, bland off-key musical performances and colorful language the FCC frowns upon were sent out over the airwaves uncensored as though it were airing on HBO. These were just a few notes we made as we drunkenly laughed at what could be one of the worst network broadcasts in history. If you didn't catch any of the Carl's Jr. sponsored bedlam, fear not. We'll squeeze out the details for you on this week's show.
We're not done crapping on TV yet. News has just come down that NBC is passing on MOCKINGBIRD LANE, their weird, gothic dramedy take on the old THE MUNSTERS sitcom. Having the highest Friday night ratings of any show in the past two years on the peacock apparently wasn't good enough. I was the only one of the group who watched it and NO, it wasn't good enough... despite those ratings.
But there's even more poop on NBC. We're on Jenkem Watch thanks to a hilarious confession from TODAY's Al Roker about an ill-timed shart he once had. We'll tell you all about it and we'll reveal what we would've done if in Al's situation.
Do beautiful women turn you on? What if they're covered in animal feces? Or compost? Oh, I know... you get off on the dames caked in manure, don't you? You're a filthy one aren't you? Well, IF — and that's a big 'if' — you're into that sort of thing, you may want to check out the calendar from the Fertile Earth Foundation. They're on a mission to educate folks on the benefits and cost savings of composting with your own dookie. The caca-calendar features a lovely model for each month in some sort of smelly situation. It's the second part of Jenkem Watch this week. There's only about a thousand of these getting printed, so act fast.
Now it's time for a steamy log on the silver screen. Friday brought us an announcement from Universal Pictures that the long awaited JURASSIC PARK 4 will release the summer of 2014. Now, as JURASSIC PARK is my favorite movie, I am excited. However, when I read some of the details from a previous draft of the script on today's show, that excitement will quickly be flushed away. Butt, there may still be some hope floating around thanks to the news of who's writing the NEW screenplay draft. By the way, I'm not sure how many poop puns I have left. So I'll try and wrap this up soon.
It's no wonder we haven't seen a STAR WARS live-action TV series yet. The one Rick McCallum over at Lucasfilm came up with would've cost $5-million per episode to make. Apparently those who saw the budget shit their pants worse than Al Roker and fifty scripts that were written got shelved. Well, now that ABC owns STAR WARS and won't have to pay enormous royalties to anyone, they're seriously looking at that show once again.
One of Monopoly's iconic game tokens is getting shit on. Hasbro feels it's time to let one go. And they're letting you decide... sort of. For a time you can go to a special website they've set up and vote for the piece you want to save. Then you can vote for the new piece that will replace the least popular one. Vote now so your favorite pewter pal has a, 'Chance'. That pun wasn't even poop related.