Spoiled Chunk Tuna!

Dennis just keeps comin’ back for more!

Happy New Year everybody. We here at Who Asked You? hope you survived the holidays with your families and any drinking or eating binges. We had a modest little New Year’s celebration at Dennis’ place. It included egg nog and brandy, beer, chips, pizza and a New Year’s Eve TV special which we’ll be talking about on next week’s show. Come back for that.

As for this week… per our tradition, at the start of each year we take a show and look ahead at all of the theatrical releases Hollywood plans to spew at us. More chunk blowing than Dennis did last night after eating some spoiled tuna at work. He’s out this show, but is with us in spirit and in the chat room.

What more can I say about the volley of cinematic bullshit headed our way in 2013. I’d estimate about one in every eight movies is worthy of the overpriced $10 ticket waiting for you at the box office. One way around the cringe of coughing up that much cash for a questionable 90-minutes of entertainment is a subscription-based system at the theater. An E-Mail brings us an article about a group of friends in California who’ve come up with a monthly-fee service that could save many of the US’s ailing small town movie theaters. For $20 you can see any movie once and buy discounted tickets for friends or family who aren’t members. “Ticket sales” would be tallied by swiping some sort of member card at the door. This could work for large theaters like Regal or Cinemark too. But would it be more than $20 a month? And would it be worth it? Given the next 12-months’ worth of coming attractions my answer is ‘no’ and I hope yours will be too.

The most promising movie on today’s show, for me, is probably Guillermo del Toro’s PACIFIC RIM. I’m a fan of giant fighting robots controlled by humans. Throw in some aliens and del Toro’s directing style and I think we might just have a picture. Coincidentally, one of the worst sounding films on the list comes out the same month. The week after PACIFIC RIM will bring us R.I.P.D. starring Ryan Reynolds. Undead police officer… that’s all I’m gonna say. Tune-in for the rest.

Disney’s PLANES starring John Cryer from TWO AND A HALF MEN as well as THE SMURFS 2 also blip loudly on our shit-dar. While THOR: THE DARK WORLD, IRON MAN 3 and THIS IS THE END show promise. Now we’ve been wrong about movies before. And we’ll gladly admit it when the time comes if any of these we shit on turn out to be good. And vice versa, for those we talk up and turn out to be complete garbage. Only time will tell.

One thing is for certain. No matter how bad the last one was, we’ll all go back for another helping. Kinda like Dennis does with the lunchroom tuna at work.


LA Times: A small-town theater campaign’s larger projections

2013 Movie Releases on IMDb

Heard In This Week’s Open:

Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure

Star Wars, Episode VI: Return of the Jedi

Ferris Bueller’s Day Off


Jurassic Park