The Wayward Irregular

The Wayward Irregular


Latest Episodes

Halloween Is Dangerous, and We Should All Be Afraid of Everything
October 29, 2012

I held out my pillow case, and the old woman gripping a bag of “popcorn balls” demanded that I “show her a trick,” so I briefly considered kicking out her brittle knee and screaming “abracadabra” into her oversized hearing aid. This was not a

“Tincture” Has Moved, But Loves You And Isn’t Trying To Replace Your Real Dad
October 22, 2012

Salutations cadre, this is Mikayla, Matthew’s wife, and I’m addressing you savages so it sounds more important the next time you hear the deep caramel bass of my husband’s voice, or whatever. Last May, The Wayward Irregular introduced a short story

Tincture: An Apocalyptic Short Story, Part Nine
October 08, 2012

Broken For As Long As I Can Remember How he’d awoken in the middle of tall grass probably should’ve been his first question—but instead—Rhamuel simply wanted to know what time it was. His head was swimming with questions, the thousand little ones

Tincture: An Apocalyptic Short Story, Part Eight
September 24, 2012

When You Turn Heel On My Family The rumbling engine of the big motor was loud enough to drown out her thoughts, and for once, Abranyah was glad for it. She hadn’t had much in the past few to ruminate on the incident back in the small empty township wher

Tincture: An Apocalyptic Short Story, Part Seven
September 10, 2012

Memories Don’t Work Like We Wish They Did Excerpted from: Revenants of War An Attempted Guide for Safe Warrant after The Whatever To the forfeit wanderers and other wayward souls living in the scar: This is a poor excuse for a travel guide, confusing at

The Red Baron and His Demonstrable Pizza-Related Betrayal
September 03, 2012

I’d asked the young man behind the automated scanning machine to repeat himself, and this was merely an effort to prevent TR, my companion, from absolving the man of his larynx with a roll of breath mint candies. “Young man,” I began,

Tincture: An Apocalyptic Short Story, Part Six
August 20, 2012

Feeding Out Among the Crows They arrived at dark, and it was the men on rooftop with loaded rifles that cemented Rhamuel’s distaste for strangers. The populace wasn’t terribly large, but it covered a few blocks here and there, and seemed to make way f

Tincture: An Apocalyptic Short Story, Part Five
August 06, 2012

I'd Be Happier If We'd All Take a Long Walk Paper football or a rubber-band shootout did well to occupy those lulls in the night, but nothing passed the time quite like a gunshot victim. The tightly braided Devia didn’t handle the lulls as well as her

Tincture: An Apocalyptic Short Story, Part Four
July 23, 2012

Lest We All Take a Dive Into the Blackness Together Rhamuel inhaled deeply through his nose, and pondered the world. They’d made camp under a billboard, and after having been awoken by Rhamuel gently sprinkling sand into his ear, Marcus began to questi

Young People and the Poison That’s Made Me Terminally Uncool
July 16, 2012

So I'm in this meeting at work, and this meeting is about young people, and in this meeting I realize I'm an old person—I am now a peer to my peers—and I'm woefully short on stool softener. Addressing the reader--e.g. you, right damned now—isn't so