Everyone is hacked.  You may have already been hacked and not even know it yet! No seriously, it probably happened while you were reading this!

Headlines:

* Follow-Up: Zuke called it, VW admits performance loss
* Scottstrade hacked!
* Patreon hacked!!
* Looppay hacked!!!
* Uber hacked!!!!
* Microsoft reads Stolendroids!
* Surface Book drops the mic on Apple.
* Apple Car is back in the news, if not on the road.
* Tesla has something to say about that
* Now you can buy a crocheted dress from Amazon. Yay?
* Google (Alphabet?) now owns the easiest URL ever
* Google accelerated pages launch

Zuke’s Favorite: It’s full of stars!

Schmidty’s Favorite: 7 mile wide Scale Solar System Model

Zohner’s Favorite: Enjoy the best poop of your life