Maths.  Delicious, delicious maths.

Also Groupon goes exactly where we said they would, 5.6 million federal employees just had their life ruined, and Schmidty destroys our productivity for the rest of our natural lives.

Headlines:

* Groupon follows the expected path and starts to die
* Record industry listens to pirates, makes money!
* Volkswagen cheats the system, gets busted
* Office 2016 takes on Google
* Even Pebble has a round smartwatch!
* 5.6M federal employees just lost their identity
* Google introduces something only Schmidty can explain to us
* Facebook's dumbest gimmick yet is actually a lot of fun!
* Netflix reads '1984', thinks "Hey, we could do that!"
* Witty teleportation joke here
* TBS finally gets watchable

Zuke’s Favorite: I need an Oculus Rift, NOW!

Schmidty’s Favorite: Ingress

Zohner’s Favorite: Family fun for all. Either that or lots of yelling.