Checkmate, Getty Images!
The FBI is in a tricky situation here; on one hand, they are expected to give Apple vulnerability info to make them more secure . . . on the other, they really don’t want to!  Twitter can’t seem to make a buck, the Bill of Rights may not be enforceable anymore, and Europe really doesn’t know how this internet thing works!

Headlines:

* FBI likes secrets
* But the FBI has to give Apple SOMETHING
* FTC investigating Android
* Getty Images figures out the entire point of Google Image Search
* Europe doesn’t like websites detecting adblockers
* Fenix for Android rises from the ashes
* Twitter doesn’t know how to make money
* iPhones not selling is innovative, right?
* Refusing to decrypt a hard drive can land you in jail
* Snapchat is now deadly
* UPDATE: The Division is really broken
* Withdraw money from an ATM using Samsung Pay
* Tinder outs even the most discrete of users
* Comcast buys Dreamworks using the tears of their subscribers
* The Not Wii U comes out in March 2017
* The Curse of the Zohner strikes Spotify
* Google Fiber is coming to Salt Lake City (ya, suck it rest of country!)
* USB-C and QuickCharge 3.0 may simply be incompatible

 
Zuke’s Favorite: The aliens you should be scared of  
Zohner’s Favorite: Why superhero costumes are important