Grappling with the worry that your husband may be gay?

You're not alone. Coach Peggy from Betrayal Trauma Recovery faced unimaginable trauma after years of being abused and betrayed by her partner. She offers valuable insights and need-to-know tips for victims of betrayal and abuse. Listen to the free BTR podcast and read the full transcript below for more.

Here is what you need to know if you are concerned that your husband has been sexually acting-out with other men.
"I'm Gay." Unexpected Discoveries Are Common
Suddenly after a lifetime of working and being healthy in the same-sex attraction arena he says: “Never mind, I’m gay.” 

Coach Peggy, Betrayal Trauma Recovery
For Coach Peggy, her ex-husband's decision was sudden. While he had told her for many years that he was attracted to men, he didn't actually identify as gay until they were separated.

It is common for men to disclose their sexual relationship(s) with other men in a sudden, out-of-the-blue way. It may feel like it came out of left field and leave women feeling shocked, confused, and hurt beyond belief.
It's Never Your Fault: When Your Husband Acts Out With Other Men
Many victims of betrayal may wonder if they somehow caused their husband to act out with other men. This kind of betrayal is painful on many levels, but especially when women internalize that their partner isn't attracted to them.

Women can find solace in these truths:

* You can't cause his choices
* You can't control his choices
* You can't cure his choices

How Did I Not That My Husband Was Gay?
Many victims feel intense shame for not discovering their husbands' sexual behavior sooner.

Coach Peggy explains that it is not any fault or failure on the woman's behalf, but a result of powerful manipulative tactics on behalf of the abusive partner:
These men are very, very good at what they do. They’re very good at knowing how to covertly manipulate and control... I am a strong woman and I’m not a pushover and I have done a lot of my healing work all along the way. I’m strong and capable and I feel confident. I think they’re really good at it. I think they’re good at helping us get into a place where we trust. I think women are very "we-oriented", we’re very much about others, we’re very much about helping others, generally speaking. I think that is a really awesome thing, it absolutely is essential for our society to propagate. For use to have families and to thrive and it’s super important and really honorable and noble and I believe these men take advantage of that.

Coach Peggy, Betrayal Trauma Recovery
Betrayal Trauma Recovery Supports Victims of Betrayal
The pain of same-sex betrayal can be excruciating and life-altering. Victims deserve a safe place to share their feelings and work through their trauma.

The  Betrayal Trauma Recovery Group meets daily in every time zone and offers women the validation, support, and friendship that they need as they begin their journey to healing. Join today.
Full Transcript:
Anne: Welcome to Betrayal Trauma Recovery, this is Anne.

Many of you have not met Coach Peggy yet. She is one of our newest coaches and my personal favorite at this point in time only because I actually go to her to do meditation sessions. In my stage of recovery, meditation is really the only thing that helps me and I’m so grateful to have her on the team and I’m grateful that she’s an amazing meditation practitioner.