Boy, I thought to myself, “If this power relay is good enough for the Mercedes-Benz Superdome, it’s good enough for our show.” But apparently even a few volts pulled by an audio mixer and some computers proved too much for it and we too experienced a power outage. For nearly 15-minutes we’re forced to fill airtime with nonsensical conversation until electricity is properly restored. How is this any different than a normal episode? It is not… okay… just play along with our little idiotic joke. Jabari and Dennis argue about next year’s SUPER BOWL, Charlie’s hate-o-meter is turned up all the way and to make matters worse we learn that the stupid cat won the Monopoly new token contest. Now there’s two animals. That’s just dumb.

Alright, the power gets restored and the show is off and running with the big news from Disney. What they’re doing with STAR WARS could be described as Bob Iger driving past you and throwing a Yoda lunchbox at your head shouting, “Wish upon a star bitch,” before speeding off in his $200,000 Ferrari. The house of mouse plans to not only crank out another trilogy, but says it’s also going to do several stand-along films to be released concurrently. We may see a tale of how Yoda grew up to become a Jedi Master. Or a story about a young Han Solo galavanting from one alien pub to another before meeting a tall, furry associate and later losing some cargo that belongs to a fat guy named Jabba. Or did he meet Chewy after that? I don’t know… I’m a STAR TREK guy.

By now you’ve almost certainly heard of a homeless, hitchhiking surfer named Kai. He’s the stoner-esk fellow interviewed on Fresno’s local Fox station after killing a crazy guy with a hatchet. It was self defense of course. The wacko had run over an unsuspecting utility worker and later started beating up two women who were trying to help. Kai, being the resourceful fellow he is, happened to have a hatchet which he used to quote, “Smash, smash, suh-mash,” in the crazed man’s skull. When the video went viral on YouTube, KMPH-TV responded faster than you could say ‘breaking news’ and cashed in on the worldwide phenomenon. They have a special banner at the top of the website and even tracked Kai down for a second interview about his life and his thoughts on his new-found web fame. The only thing Kai really seems interested in is getting his hands on a new wet suit and surf board. Don’t worry man, I’m sure you’ll be getting something from one of these surf companies wanting to also take advantage of the free marketing very soon. You’ll also likely be offered a reality show, a record deal (he actually sings and plays the guitar) and society might as well throw in a book deal too. Judging from the 5-minute interview that skyrocketed him to Internet stardom, he probably has a number of interesting anecdotes to tell.

Our big story of the week is this rumor bullshit surrounding the new Xbox and possibly PS4. It’s floating around out there that the next iteration of either console may require activation codes over the Internet that would lock a game to a single console. In other words, no more trading games with your buddy, no more picking up cheap titles at used game stores or renting new releases from GameFly. Game makers have lost out on revenue thanks to more and more people buying used titles for a fraction of the cost of something that just came out. This is a pretty shitty idea. I smell the foul stench of anti-trust in the air. Do you? I’m mulling over the idea of buying a console myself. The ol’ PS2 has run its course. But if this shit happens, I’m out. I refuse to buy an overpriced game console and then be forced to only buy new games and once they’re mine in my own house, not being able to share them with friends and family. I’ll bust out the the N64 that’s been packed away before I invest in this scheme god dammit! What do you think? It’s our poll question this week.

And I know you’ve been wondering where he is… so here’s an update on the one and only Randy Quaid. He and his wife fled the US as they’re facing felony charges for vandalising a home they didn’t have permission to live in. They fled to Canada in hopes of avoiding the cops and the “star-whacker” Quaid claims is out to get him. He even went so far as to apply for permanent residency there. But it has been denied. If they return to the US, they’ll be arrested. So it looks like Cousin Eddie and wife will be on the lamb. They may just bump into Kai during their travels. Maybe Mr. Quaid will get a book deal too.

SHOW LINKS:

Baltimore Ravens

Hasbro’s Monopoly

Disney.com

StarWars.com

KMPH-TV Fox 26

The Next Web: If the next Xbox and PlayStation block used games…

Penny Arcade: Extra Credits

CNET: Ouya chief: We’ll launch a new console every year

Read about Randy Quaid on Wikipedia

New DVD Releases for Tuesday, February 12th:

The Perks of Being a Wallflower

Weeds (Season 8)

Gossip Girl (Season 6)

The Man with the Iron Fists

Bully

Nurse Jackie (Season 4)

Robot and Frank

Silent Hill: Revelation

Family Matters (Season 3)

Big Bad Beetleborgs (Season 1, Volume 2)