Thursday Morning Big Book Step Study

Thursday Morning Big Book Step Study


Recording for December 11, 2014

December 11, 2014

(Week 154) December 11, 2014


Stephanie has two groups both on the same number: 712 432 8816 pin no. 32450#


They have the same callback number 641 715-3900 — but different PIN numbers:


(1) Tuesday 8am EST Live – Dr. Bob and the Good Old Timers (callbk pin no. 298913#)


(2) Thursday 8am EST Live – 12 Step Study ( All Addictions) Big Book Workshop (callbk pin no. 95666#)


Open Study-Buddy Groups 712 432 0800 pin no. 587213#

Thursdays EST 9:30am Sundays EST 11a-12n


Please send donations to support the website to:


Stephanie Whiting

P O Box 531

North Pembroke MA 02358


Big Book p. 64 paragraph 1: ” Therefore, we started upon a personal inventory. This was Step Four. A business which takes no regular inventory usually goes broke. Taking a commercial inventory is a fact-finding and a fact-facing process. It is an effort to discover the truth about the stock-in-trade. One object is to disclose damaged or unsalable goods, to get rid of them promptly and without regret. If the owner of the business is to be successful, he cannot fool himself about values.”


[ see BB p. 65 for format of Step Four work ]


Stephanie is asking us for patience and tolerance with her and with each other in case we’ve been doing 4th Step work a different way in the past. Get Stephanie’s method down pat here, in workshop

(with up to 5 resentments), and then we can run with it at home, writing (about) as many more resentments as we feel like. And invite God into doing your inventory with you, being partners in your discovery process. The most important part is to start with the Step Three prayer.


Characteristics of somebody you would put on a resentment list:

(1) someone you are angry at

(2) someone you are jealous of

(3) dislike

(4) unforgiving towards

(5) feel ‘icky’ about

(6) would not like to come into a party you are at


You’ve got to name your resentments (here: at people only, for now) – not be nebulous – and claim them, before you can turn them around.


You’ve got to go to God and claim your resentments because it’s not about ego – it’s about getting well. And we can’t get well if we have unresolved resentments.


Remember that resentments are all about fear.


You can ask God: show me who I resent the most and then next most, etc., and number – in descending order – as many names of people as we have resentments towards. We’re going down the columns, not across, in order to get a feeling of how vast our resentments list can be.


You have to go to God and ask him to help you put the joy back into your soul. Resentment will take the joy out of life, out of your very soul.


BB says resentment is the #1 killer (see BB p. 64 para 3 first sentence). So you want to work through the resentment by looking at yourself.


In the Hyannis method, we do not clump together causes.


Use a different page for each cause about same person and number each ’cause paper’ for same person (i.e. Joe/pg. 1, Joe/pg. 2, Joe/pg. 3…) together with that person’s name – in the upper L hand corner of each page – in case papers fall out of your looseleaf and get separated. This is an orderly process and we want to keep things orderly. This method will help you quickly find where to reinsert these pages into your binder.


Repeat that same person’s name on each page under the ‘I am resentful at’ column, as well as in the upper L hand corner of each new page.


i.e. Joe p.1 This is a fact-finding and fact-facing proposition.


I am resentful at: Cause Affects my


Joe (1) left my house at age 12 & 1/2


Joe p. 2 This is a fact-finding and fact-facing proposition.


I am resentful at: Cause Affects my


Joe (2) didn’t engage in conversation


with me


Joe p. 3 This is a fact-finding and fact-facing proposition.


I am resentful at: Cause Affects my


Joe (3)


This helps us see how huge one resentment is.


And across the top of each page always write in: “This is a fact-finding and fact-facing proposition.”


If you feel you have more to write on any cause, turn the page over and write further.


The front-of-the-page column titled ‘CAUSE’ is just for FACTS, not feelings, boiled down to 6-8 words, NO MORE- because we don’t want to wallow in our feelings anymore, since that has destroyed our souls until now. Resentment destroys our soul because we keep reliving our feelings.


As the BB says(p. 64 para 3): “Resentment is the “number one” offender.”


One object(ive) of a moral ( moral means truthful, here) inventory is to disclose negative feelings

because these make us ‘damaged or unsalable goods’. And now we want to stop refilling and reliving the whole litany of all the harms and hurts done to us, so that we get rid of the ‘go to’ excuse for going back to our addiction(s) whenever things get hard, an action we use in order to feel sorry for ourselves and cling onto the ‘victim’ feeling (like spandex clings ) and not push through to be successful at our lives.


If we don’t want to get rid of these promptly, we should just tear up our (resentment list) papers.


If we’re not interested in letting these things go, rip up these papers because we’re just doing another paper-and-pencil exercise.


If we want to be successful (being successful here means: being healthy, out of our addictions/ showing up and having logical consequences/ showing up to be helpful and not in order to have our egos assuaged), we can’t fool ourselves. We have to be willing to discover the truth about our values and promptly and without regret give them to God.


The most important part of doing the Fourth Step is being BRUTALLY HONEST.


We were spiritually sick. We are doing a spiritual exercise now.


Resentment, fear, dishonesty make us spiritually ill.


We are going to overcome our spiritual disease and “straighten out mentally and physically” after we name and claim what we’ve been holding onto all these years which makes us spiritually ill.


(See BB p.64 paragraph 3, sentences 1-4: “Resentment is the number one offender. It destroys more alcoholics than anything else. From it stem all forms of spiritual disease…When the spiritual malady is overcome, we straighten out mentally and physically”.)


Our Soul Work this week:


(1)Take each person we resent (up to 5 names for the workshop) and write as many causes as applicable, keeping each cause on a separate piece of paper and at 6-9 words/just the FACTS – writing on the back of each ’cause paper’ as much feelings about that particular cause as we have. We’re not judging ourselves. That will stop the process because we can’t stand feeling bad about ourselves.


Writing feelings is optional; the feelings we write can be read to our buddies (not the group).


Any resentments we have towards others keeps us chained to them and wrecks our lives.


If you can’t realize what the factual cause of your resentful feelings is, turn your paper over and

write all your feelings and God will show you what the factual cause is.


If you have factual causes and no feelings, Hallelujah!


This Fourth Step process has taught Stephanie that everyone in her life has been given to her as

a gift – to learn about herself, her patterns.


We are humans, we have feelings; feelings are a gift and they have their place. They are to be shared with our buddy or religious mentor (Pastor/Priest/Rabbi) or psychologist or counselor. But feelings are not facts; they will lie to us!


We disperse our litany of feelings by having someone witness our feelings, piecemeal, as we go along doing our Fourth Step. And then, when we get to Step Five, we share our entire inventory all at once and give it away to God, letting go of it all at once. This is VERY LIFE-CHANGING!


(2) Write down any questions you may have for next week.


This is a life-changing, inch-by-inch, process and Stephanie is most honored to be our sponsor here, taking us through this AND most grateful for being able to share this most intimate, life-changing process with us.


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