These paramilitary insurrectionists should probably have better motivations than a shredded penis if they want to take over the government.... Or...don't.

How about we just watch every Michelle Bauer movie?

Is it Monster A-Go-Go bad? We think so.

You're probably gonna like it or hate it but I don't see very many actually loving it.

Sorry, the Internet. We aren't going to review every Hallmark Channel movie.

Thrill at Gary Oldman's CGI pantshoes. Dazzle as he gets stuffed into a davenport! Question why he's even in the movie!

Who knew that frequent explosions could be made boring by a guy with wire cutters?

Love it, hate it, or don't care about it, one fact remains. IT COST TOO MUCH MONEY!!!

"Why is a good, charming, lovable, unique film with an original script in theaters?" the critics asked.

Benny, blood money, boobs, bites, bows and still so booooorrring.