SomaCow

Badah dah dah daaaah. I’m hatin’ it.

Apparently, after having my entirely easy order of two double cheeseburgers, plain, large french fry, big mac, large vanilla shake, and twenty chicken nuggets with sweet and sour sauce, plus two bonus cheeseburgers (just in case) screwed up last night, I am on a rant against America’s Fast Food Restaurant of choice.

And it’s a real shame, because Mickey has to spend the whole hour explaining to me how very wrong I am. I pity him his lot in life. Not to mention our dear old J, who spent the whole hour chewing at the belt straps, trying in vain to get out the door so that he could eat the foods we were discussing.

So, yeah, that sponsorship fell through. But hey, Backyard Burger, anyone?

In addition to my railing against the poisonous fare being served to decent folks around the world, we also discussed an experimental economy that disavowed corporations. If any of you conservative freakshows actually read Ayn Rand, you’d know that John Galt-ica or whatever silly mountain country she invented operated under exactly that premise. Taking the proprietor off the property is the worst thing to happen to business since human resources. Don’t agree? Sound off like you had a pair, yo.

We also discussed the brilliance of the diet fork. Right up there with the ol’ spoon with a hole in it, superglued fridge, and the ever witty nerf dentures.

We are happy to report that you may now bring a lighter on the plane. Finally, a weapon capable of doing battle with the countless serpents that continue to plague our mighty nation’s airplanes.

Speaking of Bad Ass MoFos, we played the following snake moans in this hour:

The Milwaukees-Moonshaker
Goodbye Gadget-I Wanna Be
In Stereo-Sweet Relentless You
Cobra Starship-Bring It

All that, plus strippers! In this, our finest hour.