Loving Eliza

Chapter Twenty-One

That Sunday, Jane sat between Eliza and Lucy while Jeremy gave the sermon.  Brian sat next to Lucy, and John sat next to John.  It reminded her of when her parents were alive.  She’d sit between her parents, her sister, and her brother and his family.  Sometimes she missed how things used to be, but as she glanced at Lucy and Eliza, she felt a sense of peace at how things turned out.  When she caught the unshed tears and proud smile on Eliza’s face, she touched Eliza’s hand.

Eliza looked at her and brushed the tears away.  “There he is talking about finding joy and I’m crying,” she whispered.

“Yes, but you’re crying out of joy,” she softly replied.

Eliza nodded.  “I never I’d hear my son speak, much less see what a fine man he turned out to be.  God has blessed me more than I deserve.”

“He has for me, too.”

Squeezing her hand, Eliza smiled at her before they turned their attention back to Jeremy.

After the sermon, Jane stood next to Jeremy as people came up to talk to him, as she was used to doing.  To her surprise, Eliza stood with her and introduced her to the people in town, often throwing in a charming story to help Jane remember who was who.  Lucy and Charlotte joined them a little later while Brian went with John to talk to some of the men in town.  Jane tried to remember the names of John’s brothers, but the men looked a lot alike so it was hard to keep them separated.

“Are you overwhelmed by everyone?” Lucy quietly asked Jane while Eliza and Addy talked to Charity and Daphne.

“No.  Eliza does a good job of making people feel comfortable in new situations,” Jane replied.

“She does, doesn’t she?  That’s one of the things I love most about her.” Jane watched while Eliza fussed over Charlotte’s bonnet.  “She loves being a grandmother.”

“She’s already started on a blanket for our babies, but don’t tell her I told you.  She’s even putting the month they’re going to be born on the blankets.  She figures if she gets an early start on them, she has plenty of time to correct any mistakes she makes.”

“That’s nice of her.”

“I know Jeremy can’t just pick up and move anywhere he wants, but it’d be nice if he could be our preacher.  Then our children could grow up together and be friends.  You know, I did have a sister, but we didn’t get along.  I’ll have to tell you about it sometime, but I often wished she and I had the kind of relationship we do.”

“I like being with you, too,” Jane confessed.  “I’m sorry you didn’t have a good friendship with your sister.” Her life had been blessed with Rebecca, and it was hard to imagine how things might have been if she and Rebecca hadn’t been the closest of friends.  Even if Rebecca hadn’t lived long, she’d made the world a better place.  With a sigh, she said, “I’d love for our children to grow up together and be friends.”

“It’s too bad I didn’t get to meet Rebecca.  She sounds like she was a lovely person.”

“She was.  I suppose a part of me will always miss her.”

“That’s a good thing, Jane.  I know it isn’t good she’s no longer here, but it’s good that you had the kind of friendship where you miss her as much as you do.”

Jane nodded, thinking to tell Lucy that she was sorry that Lucy didn’t have fond memories of her sister.  Lucy didn’t have to say it.  It was evident in the dismissive tone in Lucy’s voice when she referred to her sister.

“Maybe God brought us together so we could be sisters.  We are sisters-in-law, after all,” Lucy said.

Jane considered Lucy’s comment.  The timing of Rebecca’s death, her marriage to Jeremy, Edith’s move to Omaha, finding Eliza, and this town needing a preacher at this moment in time…  Perhaps the incidences that didn’t seem to connect were all a part of a bigger plan God had in their lives.  And if it turned out that Jeremy could come here to shepherd this church, then that would only confirm it.  The pieces all fit nicely.

Eliza and Addy headed over to her and Lucy so she tucked aside her thoughts for the time being.

***

Two days later, Jeremy took Jane back out to John and Eliza’s residence.  On the way there, he ran through the familiar debate in his mind.  If he was going to broach the subject of how his mother ended up in prostitution, it would have to be today.  The next day, the stagecoach was due in town, and he had to get back to his church.  He knew the subject he wished to discuss with his mother would be a sensitive one and would be best done without anyone else in the vicinity.

Taking a deep breath, he ran his fingers over the reins he held in his hands as the horse led them onto John and Eliza’s property.  “Jane, I have to know how she ended up in a saloon at such a young age.” The confession wasn’t an easy one to make, but of all people he could tell, it was Jane.  She knew more about him than anyone else, and she didn’t judge him for his decisions.  He glanced at her.  “I figure John and Brian will be working on the chairs this time of day.  I don’t know if Lucy will be at the house, but I think it’d be better that I talk to my mother alone.”

“Lucy mentioned wanting to take me to the creek so I could see her favorite spot.  We’ll do that, and I’ll go to her house until you come for me.”

Looking at her kind eyes, he smiled.  “You always seem to know what I need.”

She shrugged.  “I think you need to know this so you can move forward, even if it’s not pleasant.”

It couldn’t be pleasant.  Not if his mother didn’t tell him that part of her life when she made it a habit of talking about her childhood with her parents, her life with John, and her life with Brian and Lucy.  But she never mentioned how she ended up in prostitution, and he suspected it had something to do with him.

Instead of going to John and Eliza’s house, he opted to take the buggy to Brian and Lucy’s house.  Lucy came onto the porch as they neared her home.  Once he pulled up to a stop, Lucy bounded down the steps with Charlotte at her heels.

“I’ll get myself out,” Jane told him as she stepped out the buggy.  “Good morning, Lucy.  Is it alright if I stay here with you for awhile?”

“Of course, it is,” Lucy said as Charlotte lifted her arms up so Jane would pick her up.  “We can talk about things that would bore men.”

Noting the twinkle in Lucy’s eye, Jeremy replied, “Then it’s a good thing I won’t be around.”

“Take your time,” Jane told him.

He nodded his thanks to them and led the horse toward Eliza and John’s.  When he reached the barn, he took his time in unhitching the horse and putting in the stall.  This was it.  Tucking his hands into his coat pockets, he strolled the length between the barn and the house, not bothering to step around patches of melting snow.  He reached the kitchen door and knocked on it.

He only had to wait for five seconds before Eliza opened the door with a towel in her hands.  “Morning, Jeremy,” she greeted as she threw it over her right shoulder and opened the screen door for him.  “Where’s Jane?  Is she feeling alright?”

“Jane’s fine.  She’s visiting Lucy.” He cleared his throat.  “I hope that’s alright.  I wanted to speak to you alone.”

A worried frown crossed her face and for a moment, he thought she was going to say no, but she nodded and waved him in.  “I just finished with the dishes so I have time to talk.  Would you like something to drink?  I was thinking of making some tea.  Every once in awhile, I like a break from coffee.”

He stepped into the house and wiped his feet on the rug by the door.  “Tea would be fine.”

She closed the door and motioned for him to sit down while she filled the teapot with water.

Now that he was alone with her, he didn’t know where to begin.  Swallowing the lump in his throat, he took off his hat and smoothed his hair before he hung his coat and hat on the coat tree.  With a deep breath, he moved forward and sat at the kitchen table.  He rested his hands on his knees and tried to determine the best way to bring up the subject.

Turning from the cook stove where she set the teapot, she softly asked, “You want to know about your birth?”

His face flushed from partial embarrassment given the sensitive nature of the discussion.  “I figured that out.  You were at the saloon when I was born.  It’s not hard to deduct what happened there.” He cleared his throat and forced himself to make eye contact.  “I wondered how you ended up in a saloon.  I was born when you were fourteen.  I can’t imagine why your parents would allow you to go there in the first place.”

She looked away from him, choosing, instead, to stare at her hands which gripped the chair in front of her.  She remained standing, a signal that this conversation was just as hard, if not harder, for her than it was for him.  “What you’re asking is how you were born,” she said in a tone so low he barely heard her.

His eyebrows furrowed.  What did her becoming a prostitute have to do with him?

In a louder voice, she continued, “I ended up in the saloon because I was carrying you.”

“I don’t understand.  You mean one of the men who…came to your room…wasn’t my father?”

“No, none of them were.” She glanced at the teapot and took it off the cook stove to set aside.  “I can’t focus on the tea while we’re having this talk.” She wiped her hands on her apron before she pulled out her chair and sat down.  Squaring her shoulders, she released her breath and finally looked at him.  “I’ll tell you what you want to know, but I have to warn you, it’s not pretty.”

“I gathered as much,” he whispered.

“But it doesn’t change how I feel about you.  I still love you, and I’m glad you found me.”

His stomach tensed.  He came this far.  He wasn’t going to back out now.  “You’ve prepared me.”

“After my parents died, my mother’s sister and her husband took me in.”

“Your aunt and uncle?”

“Yes.  That’s another way of putting it.” She adjusted the tablecloth and folded her hands in front of her, her knuckles white even as she maintained eye contact with him.  “My uncle wasn’t exactly a good man.  I never felt safe around him, and I avoided him as much as I could.  But…well…that didn’t stop him from coming into my bedroom at night.” Her voice trailed off and she turned her attention to her hands.

Shock prevented him from telling her to stop.  He knew.  She didn’t have to continue at this point, but he couldn’t speak so she did.

“I told him no, but what can a fourteen-year-old do against a man?” Her voice wavered and she grabbed the towel off of her shoulder so she could wipe her eyes.

The knots in Jeremy’s gut tightened.  “I get the idea.”

She sniffed back her tears.  “I hid it for as long as I could, but my aunt figured out I was child.  She refused to accept it was her husband who did it.  They blamed the boys in the neighborhood.  They decided to get rid of me, and he sold me to the saloon owner in Omaha.  That’s how I ended up in prostitution.”

He wasn’t sure what to think.  He’d heard terrible things in his time as a preacher, but he’d never heard anything this awful.

“The owner wasn’t happy to say the least when he realized I was with child, but the Grahams happened to find out about my situation when I went to see a doctor and offered to take you and raise you as their own.  The owner agreed to it, and so when the time came for me to give birth, they came to get you and take you home.” She brushed away more tears from her cheeks and sighed.  “They were such nice people.  I knew they would give you a good life.  It didn’t matter how you were conceived.  I loved you, and it broke my heart that day when you were born and I wasn’t allowed to hold you, not even once.  The doctor handed you to Mrs. Graham and the owner hurried your parents out of the saloon.  Your parents sent me a letter and a picture of you, and I knew you were safe and loved, and that was what mattered.  They did right by you.  You became a good man.  A mother couldn’t be prouder.”

He blinked, willing his own tears away.  What could he say?  She was smiling and crying at the same time, and as much as he wanted to express his disgust at what her uncle did to her, he knew it wasn’t the response she needed.

“There’s something you should understand when you came to my door a week ago,” she continued.  “For a moment, I thought you were my uncle.  At first glance, you looked just like him, but as I studied your face more, I saw myself in you, too.  That’s why it took me awhile to overcome my shock.  I hope you didn’t think it was because I wasn’t happy to see you.  I was.  I never imagined the Grahams would tell you about me, and for sure, I didn’t think you would care enough to find me, especially given the fact that I used to be a prostitute.”

“There are many things I’ve learned over my years in the ministry, and one of them is that too many people judge a person based on where they’ve been instead of where they are now.  You were too young to make a decision when you became a prostitute, but you gathered the courage to leave and that’s what counts.”

She wiped her eyes again and chuckled.  “Those are beautiful words.”

“I’m sorry you had to go through that with…” He couldn’t bring himself to say his father because as far as he was concerned, her uncle didn’t have a right to that title, so he finished with, “him.  No one deserves that.  You don’t have to worry me.  I’m proud to be your son.”

She burst into tears and got up so she could hug him.  “Thank you.”

He returned her hug and forced his voice to remain steady.  “Thank you, Ma.” He swallowed the lump in his throat.  “Thank you for letting the Grahams raise me so I could have a good life.”

After a few moments, she went to the cook stove and put the teapot back on the range.  “Is there anything else you want to know?”

“No, you’ve answered all of my questions.” Standing up, he added, “I’ll get Jane and come back.”

Smiling, she nodded.

Returning her smile, he left the house.