Nobody Likes Onions

NLO 822: Hollyhood

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Nobody Likes Onions

Patrick Melton

Los Angeles, CA

Description: It's like taking a cold shower in sarcasm! Real, hilarious, uncesored talk about life, current events, pop culture and pet peeves. Nationally known comedians tell it like it is - or at least how it should be.

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NLO 822: Hollyhood

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Patrick and Starline are in the studio today, and he’s still out of it. Star has been officially hired on as an assistant, despite possible implications of slavery. Cameron calls in to bitch about Josh Denny’s commitment issues. Patrick is excited about filming a 7 minute video where he cooks an egg. Star lives in Hollyhood and hates Patrick’s graphic design skills. After more assistant talk, a Brony calls in and Star has to explain the phenomenon. Patrick rants about nerds and how they all suck, and is really fucking angry at Star for liking ponies, too. They’re really hung up on Star collecting money at the door of a show, and then discuss her wardrobe in regards to NLO shows. She was on a BET show to get her hair did. Patrick has a better black accent than Star, and uses the accent in one long solo “improv scene.” Everyone believes Patrick’s ex was using him, but he doesn’t want to believe it. Chris calls in and Patrick tells lies about the ex, and Cory calls in and bitches about her age and the ex. Star and Patrick share stories of strangely intimate scenarios between them. Toni-Ann wants to fuck and Patrick is sick of titty pictures. Patrick is still suicidal, and Adam is still dead. A “Black-Person-Expert” calls in, laughs his ass off, and hangs up. They listen to Episode 13 for a bit, where we learn that Patrick has been yelling at bitches since the beginning. And we’re back to the ex. She shows up at the end. That’s awkward.