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MMO Reporter Episode 74 – Tera-iffic Poetry


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Description: The MMO Reporter podcast is your source for Massively Multiplayer Online Game news! We cover all MMOs, but we focus on WoW, Guild Wars 2, The Old Republic and Lord of the Rings Online.

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MMO Reporter Episode 74 – Tera-iffic Poetry

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In this episode, Harry waxes poetic about Eligium, Chris recounts his time at PAX, we discuss the Guild Wars 2 pre-purchase and more!

What we did this week

Guild Wars – restarted Prophecies campaign
LOTRO – alts
SWTOR – warzones, shadow levelling
Other – Orcs Must Die

LOTRO, which led to Mario Kart
Guild Wars
Eligium (as first discussed in episode 41) – Mashup contest, april 20


This week’s funny, yet disctracting pictures

Guild Wars 2 Pre-purchase officially launched (here be beta access)

Guild Wars 2 region locked

Date saved by World of Warcraft

World of Warcraft with infinite draw distance

  • Imagur link:
  • Step by step to try it yourself (have not tried; don’t blame us if it doesn’t work!)
    • The end result reminds me of this

SWTOR 1.2 goes live April 12th

Michael Hogan (Battlestar Galactica, Colonel Tye) Claudia Black (Farscape, Aeryn Sun) headline Tera voice acting

Aion selling epic gear for real money

Chris – DDO Expansion preview from PAX East

Harry’s Thoughts on Eligium

This week’s MMO Reporter swag contest is for people to create a mashup of Harry’s Eligium poetry. Mix it up with video, pictures, whatever you think of and send it to us, post it to Youtube or otherwise bring it to our attention.

Ode to Eligium
Your trailer was generic toss
with castles, darkened skies
With slow-mo on the epic boss
and other standard lies

But hey, you know, I might be wrong
So I installed the game
Downloading time was pretty long
And what I got was lame

Horrendous graphics that only worked
in isometric view
but even that was damn right borked
And showed the world askew

And if I might, I’d like to add
I always invert my mouse
Not allowing that makes me foaming mad
You friggin developer louse

And how about you Frogster folks
Just learn to read and write
It’s not enough to copy paste
To a budget translating site

Let’s not forget the actual game
Grinding, grind grind grind
You grind and grind and grind and grind
Like it’s 1999

You grind some more and grind again
and grind until you bleed
Don’t worry, now you’re level 6
Go grind for another deed

Oh wait there are no deeds in here
Just loot that’s out of reach
If I am level 6 right now

Oh and what’s with quest text spilling out
of the quest log box on the screen
Is there any ANY doubt
that this is something your QA folks have seen?

In Spring Eligium will be released
Which seems a big mistake
It should be locked up like a beast
and thrown into a lake

Just break it down and burn the rest
And don’t forget the priest
You’ll need a competent exorsist
To expel this gruesome beast

Burn it burn it burn it all
just burn it while you can
Burn it burn it burn it all
Burn this plague, this horror of man

And I also dislike the font, where the ‘m’ lacks a line so it looks like an ‘n’.

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