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MMO Reporter Episode 74 – Tera-iffic Poetry

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Chris Perry

Description: The MMO Reporter podcast is your source for Massively Multiplayer Online Game news! We cover all MMOs, but we focus on WoW, Guild Wars 2, The Old Republic and Lord of the Rings Online.

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MMO Reporter Episode 74 – Tera-iffic Poetry

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In this episode, Harry waxes poetic about Eligium, Chris recounts his time at PAX, we discuss the Guild Wars 2 pre-purchase and more!

What we did this week

Bill
Guild Wars – restarted Prophecies campaign
- http://wiki.guildwars.com/wiki/User:John_Stumme/Not_So_Random_Thoughts_box
LOTRO – alts
SWTOR – warzones, shadow levelling
Other – Orcs Must Die

Harry
LOTRO, which led to Mario Kart
Guild Wars
Eligium (as first discussed in episode 41) – Mashup contest, april 20

Chris
PAX
Firefall

This week’s funny, yet disctracting pictures
http://www.geneticanomaly.com/RPG-Motivational/slides/mmorpg.jpg
http://stupidevilbastard.com/Images/ganked_thumb.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/21x2e.jpg

News
Guild Wars 2 Pre-purchase officially launched (here be beta access)
https://buy.guildwars2.com/

Guild Wars 2 region locked
http://massively.joystiq.com/2012/04/05/arenanet-details-guild-wars-2s-squad-mechanics/

Date saved by World of Warcraft
http://kotaku.com/5900326/awkward-speed-dating-moments-rescued-by-world-of-warcraft

World of Warcraft with infinite draw distance
http://www.pcgamer.com/2012/04/10/see-world-of-warcraft-with-unlimited-draw-distance/

  • Imagur link:  http://imgur.com/a/XH1gS#0
  • Step by step to try it yourself (have not tried; don’t blame us if it doesn’t work!)
    • http://www.reddit.com/r/wow/comments/s04h0/anyone_know_how_to_increase_the_view_distance/c4amxsh?context=3
    • The end result reminds me of this
    • http://www.wdwtourguide.com/img/DisneysMagicKingdomMap.jpg

SWTOR 1.2 goes live April 12th
http://www.swtor.com/gameupdates

Michael Hogan (Battlestar Galactica, Colonel Tye) Claudia Black (Farscape, Aeryn Sun) headline Tera voice acting
http://massively.joystiq.com/2012/04/09/michael-hogan-and-claudia-black-head-teras-voice-acting-cast/

Aion selling epic gear for real money
http://massively.joystiq.com/2012/04/09/wings-over-atreia-clean-up-on-aisle-four/

Chris – DDO Expansion preview from PAX East
http://www.pcgamer.com/previews/pax-east-dungeons-dragons-online-weaves-a-tale-of-expansion/

Harry’s Thoughts on Eligium

This week’s MMO Reporter swag contest is for people to create a mashup of Harry’s Eligium poetry. Mix it up with video, pictures, whatever you think of and send it to us, post it to Youtube or otherwise bring it to our attention.

Ode to Eligium
Your trailer was generic toss
with castles, darkened skies
With slow-mo on the epic boss
and other standard lies

But hey, you know, I might be wrong
So I installed the game
Downloading time was pretty long
And what I got was lame

Horrendous graphics that only worked
in isometric view
but even that was damn right borked
And showed the world askew

And if I might, I’d like to add
I always invert my mouse
Not allowing that makes me foaming mad
You friggin developer louse

And how about you Frogster folks
Just learn to read and write
It’s not enough to copy paste
To a budget translating site

Let’s not forget the actual game
Grinding, grind grind grind
You grind and grind and grind and grind
Like it’s 1999

You grind some more and grind again
and grind until you bleed
Don’t worry, now you’re level 6
Go grind for another deed

Oh wait there are no deeds in here
Just loot that’s out of reach
If I am level 6 right now
I DON’T NEED A LEVEL 24 WAND!
SHEESH!

Oh and what’s with quest text spilling out
of the quest log box on the screen
Is there any ANY doubt
that this is something your QA folks have seen?

In Spring Eligium will be released
Which seems a big mistake
It should be locked up like a beast
and thrown into a lake

Just break it down and burn the rest
And don’t forget the priest
You’ll need a competent exorsist
To expel this gruesome beast

Burn it burn it burn it all
just burn it while you can
Burn it burn it burn it all
Burn this plague, this horror of man

And I also dislike the font, where the ‘m’ lacks a line so it looks like an ‘n’.

Contact Info

site: mmoreporter.com
email: mmo.reporter@gmail.com
twitter: twitter.com/mmo_reporter
twitter: twitter.com/harryhol
twitter: twitter.com/mmobill
voicemail: 616-666-6778
reddit: reddit.com/r/mmoreporter

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